Battle to a Better Self (part 1)

So I’ve sat down and written out a guide. A battle plan fighting against myself. I am the one who picks up the spoon. I am the one who sleeps in. I am the only one who can change it.

Battle Plan Part 1: Sugar & Sweets

I grew up in a home with very strict eating standards. I don’t mean we only ate organic or only ate local. I mean we were only allowed to eat certain things and sugar & sweets was not one of them. Our diet was strictly controlled. So anytime I was at a friends house or an event…I consumed an enormous amount of sugar & sweets. This compulsive behavior continued throughout Continue reading

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Teaing it up

CaptureSo I woke up with a sore throat… *ugh*

I’ve doubled up on my vitamin C and am drinking lots of tea. I am currently sipping on a delicious cup of Mighty Leaf Chamomile Citrus Tea . It’s one of my favorites. It seems the partner and I both aren’t feeling well. He snored way more last night than usual, which of course didn’t help my sleep. I am absolutely exhausted today…and grumpy.

At least it’s FRIDAY!

Fingers crossed to getting off early and starting my weekend. Not sure what our plans are yet…still waking up.

One step closer

I’m in the hiring process with a local police agency. I’m pretty far in the hiring process, there’s just a few steps left (I think 4 to be exact).

And I just found out I’ve got a sit down with the chief!

I passed the two panel interviews with ease last week, so I should be fine…but I’m nervous. I’ve only gotten so far in hiring processes before and as I get closer to that last familiar step, the anxiety grows more and more intense. I am so not interested in another rejection. In another let down. In another depression of feeling worthless and hopeless.

Ok, I have to stay positive. I interned with this agency so they know me and like me. I just have to take it one step at a time. Things are looking positive. So must I.

– confusing definitions –

I’m such a rabbit. I love taking on challenges. They’re new. They’re sparkly. I’m so game! I’m going to change myself and change the world! …but after a week…or a day…I’m exhausted and I’m back to feeling sorry for myself. “I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m useless.” (None of which are true, and I know this…but the feelings. Oh, the feelings.)

So here I go again. It’s day 2 and I’m still here in my newest challenge: a blog. But there are so many important challenges in my life that I ignore. The personal challenges within me. The challenges of self-love, self-respect, and self-confidence.

Today I’m challenged with confidence. I try to avoid saying that I “struggle” with something. A “struggle” sounds so negative and daunting. To me, a challenge is something I can conquer. And that drives me. So yeah…confidence. Growing up I was bombarded with Continue reading

So this is me.

I’m not a writer. I’m not expert. I’m just trying to figure out my post-college pre-career life.

I’ve never been much of a writer. I never kept a journal or a diary. I always found it so hard to write to myself. I mean…I already know everything I’m about to write. What’s the point?

I recently dabbled with blogging in private online community and loved the feedback and relationships I built, but it was limited to that specific community. I’ve taken on the challenge to blog publicly.

I hope to discover more about myself and others as I blog about my challenges, from silly to intense…we all have them. Advice, thoughts, opinions always welcome!